You are not alone

To the one who is waiting with empty arms,

This week is National Infertility Awareness week. And I LOVE that because infertility is definitely something that is not always talked about. It is often a trial that is faced behind closed doors, that is lonely, that is soul wretching, that others cannot see. Statistics tell us that one in eight couples experience infertility. Those numbers are staggering. And yet, there are so many who suffer with infertility who feel so alone, so forgotten. If you have struggled with infertility or are currently struggling with infertility the one thing I want you to know is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I see you. I see the way you quickly watch past the baby aisle at Target, trying to avoid looking at the baby clothes and baby things, all the while wondering if and when your turn will come. I see you trying not to cry on Mother’s Day in church, feeling guilty for feeling so sad on such a special and wonderful day. I see you when Christmas rolls around and you know that it is pointless to make a Christmas list because the one and only gift you want, the gift you have asked for for years – a baby, isn’t going to be there. I see you as you drive home from doctor appointment after doctor appointment with tears streaming down your face. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

I so wish that infertility was talked about more because I think we would truly see more and more that we aren’t alone. As my husband and I went through six years of infertility (and secondary infertility now), we quickly realized that we were surrounded by friends who were going through similar situations as us. Because we talked about our infertility, we were able to connect with others in our church who were going through the same thing, and we became great friends. And we also learned that many friends who we had known before our struggle with infertility, also were struggling. This was such a reassurance to me. Not that I wanted them to struggle also, but it was so reassuring that we WERE NOT ALONE. That I had friends, lots of friends, going through the same thing I was going through. Friends who knew what it was like to cry on Mother’s Day. If you look around and pay attention, I’m willing to bet that you have friends who are struggling the same as you. Please don’t suffer alone. Come together, talk, cry together, eat chocolate together (right!?), and pray together. You don’t have to face infertility alone even if the world tells you it is something you shouldn’t talk about. And thankfully we live in a time where even if no one in your immediate circle of friends can relate to this, there are so many online support groups and Instagram accounts of others going through similar situations.  We are in this together. We are all trying to bring beautiful children into our families and we can cry and pray together. I have met some of the dearest friends because of infertility and my relationships with other friends have been strengthened by infertility.

And above all, I believe in our Heavenly Father, who is bigger than all of this. HE knows EXACTLY what you are going through. When I would cry that no one knew what it was like, HE knew.  He knows. He is with us always.  YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  Please remember that. I know the years are long, the tears are many, the arms are so empty. But you are not alone. Our Heavenly Father sees you. I see you. So many see you and know that “in the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can’t see.”  YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

All my love,


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