in which we find ourselves
Today was a little bit of doozy in the world of motherhood. Potty training was attempted and promptly given up, an outing to the pool ended in wondering children and children in time-out, and, well, don’t even ask what my house looks like right now.
In between quiet time (does that even exist anymore!? My youngest is in the process of dropping his last nap and I am digging in my heels to that with all I’m worth) and the non-existence of quiet time, I tried to take a quick shower. And then the toddler started screaming. Not a scream like he’s mad but I can leave him for a little longer (he was safely in his room, he was supposed to be sleeping buuuuut…) so I can finish this shower, but a scream like he probably just managed to climb up his changing table and jump off, I wouldn’t put it past him. And so I cut my shower short in attempt to grab a towel and run in and make sure he was okay.
And as I did so this scripture ran through my mind:
“For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.” – Matthew 16:25
The understanding of this scripture has always come easily to me. When we are selfish and focus on ourselves, we lose our lives because the things of eternity are not worldly possessions or desires. But when we lose our lives for Christ and to serve Him and His will, we find our lives. But for some reason, I never thought of this scripture in the perspective of motherhood.
Until today, when I was getting out of that hot shower, tired and frustrated that I couldn’t even finish shaving my legs gosh dang it, to go and help one of my children. One of HIS children.
And I realized, this scripture is about motherhood. This is ALL motherhood.
We often lose ourselves in the day to day of motherhood. We lose time for ourselves, to take a shower, to do things WE want to do. But we find time to serve and give and serve and give some more. We often lose our sense of self in motherhood as we do one mundane task after another, often without feeling a lot of success. But, if we can remember who we do those mundane tasks for, those mundane tasks can turn into acts of love for our families and for our Savior.
As we lose ourselves in motherhood, we find ourselves in Christ.
The world tells us that as women, as mothers, we lose our identity when we become mothers.
But with each shower stopped to scoop up and hug a crying little one, we find ourselves. Because it’s only in that selfless love that we find Christ. And as we become more and more like Him, we become more and more whole.
So keep mothering on. Tomorrow is a new day. And it might still be long and hard and lonely but in the worlds of Jeffrey R. Holland “Heaven is cheering you on today, tomorrow, and forever.”
We have help and hope on every side if we remember to turn to Him. Because I surely know I can’t mother without Him.
So let’s go find ourselves, mamas.